fronds

Mar. 13th, 2017 10:07 am
armaina: seriously dudes, not stock art. (Default)
[personal profile] armaina
I generally am always in a situation where I like people a lot more than they like me. Not with everyone of course, plenty of people due match in friendship/consideration and what not. There are just a lot of times I find myself much more excitable about the prospect of engagement, interaction, socialization in general, than the other.

Sometimes I'm not really sure what to do with myself about it. It's hard to find who finds that uplifting and who finds that creepy. I throw out rides offers and opportunity to interact when possible, but some people find the mere suggestion of meet up to be creepy, even if it's fully within their power to turn down (past obligations and social conditioning are likely part of this of course I would not always know what backgrounds one might have) Truth be told I don't know what friendships ended up worsened simply due to my over-eagerness or not. Some cases I can pin it on incomparability, others on a vague collection of misjudgments and a few on simply being used by the other.

For anyone that calls me friend I'm always exceedingly eager and excited to engage with in social activities. I'm just also uncertain about where is too much unless that's been explained. As it stands now I've gone more to a position of letting others do the inviting rather than making requests myself, because it's the only way I know it's safe or desired at all for that matter. A few people I can forward the request up front without waiting but it's really not many. This is of course, no one else's fault or responsibility, this is just me lamenting and putting it out in words.

Being an extrovert with social anxiety sure is a ride.

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