artists_beware | In need of help/advice

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advice for artists

In need of help/advice

This is more of a premtive move on my part just in case something happens with this person later.

Its also me needing advice. I have offered to issue a refund but have not yet gotten a response.

This isnt a beware yet.

Several months ago I was commissioned by someone who shall remain anonymous, for now. I was doing an open stream card commission and he purchased a $10 ink with a $2 tip of a naked Ferret girl. I completed the card as he watched and it took me a week or so to mail it out. I honestly just wanted to wash my hands of him because the whole transaction had been borderline creepy and the guy seemed to treat women as objects  which, me being a girl, tends to rub me the wrong way.

So I sent it out, doing my ABSOLUTE BEST to write down his adress on the envelope. It was in french and absolutely full of accents and special characters. And sent it off with two other international orders.  Well I kept tabs on the other two internationals because I tend to befriend a GOOD amount of people out of country. One of which was a good friend and it took him over a month to get his cards, when they finally arrived I could breath a sigh of releif. So I assumed all had gone as planned and I completely forgot about the creepy guy.

Untill a week ago when he noted me on FA asking if I had sent out his card. Not remembering who he was, because I have done ALOT of cards between when i started and now I asked him to describe it. when he did I informed him I had indeed sent it and that if it hadn't arrived to check his local post office. I know in some international shipments that they hold things at the post for people to pick up, happens with my briton boyfriend all the time. I thought this was a reasonable thing to say as I know it happens fairly often and something may have just fallen through the cracks.

The response I got was... well.. a tad rude. (i cant say i didnt respond any better but alas it was 3am and I was in a less than accomodating mood.)

My first response when he told me he didnt receive it:

His reply:

which incited this reply from me.

I tried to remain professional, I did. But I was a little ticked off at the idea he implyed I was trying to scam him.

I havent yet gotten a reply but I'd really like to know what to do so this doesn't happen in the future.

I also have this sneaking suspicion he's trying to get something for nothing but seeing as I cant prove he didnt get the card I'm up a creek. Its only $10 but this is quite literally MONTHS after the fact I would have thought he'd have brought this up alot sooner.
EDIT: I have spoken to him and implored him to check his local post office. He's currently working in Paris and his mother is still at his old adress so hes going to ask her to check. More updates when I know more.

On another note we resolved the rudeness issue on both our parts, I apologised for my reaction to his reply and he inturn apologised for his bluntness. So I can at least account for the issue with the customer to be resolved, the shipping issue is still pending though.

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Approved this, but you have several HTML tags that need fixing, if you could please.

I've had someone contact me 2 and a half years after sending my half of a trade, saying that they never received it. Also overseas. Could not figure out why on earth I wasn't contacted sooner but at least my customer was polite about it.

I think you handled that fairly well. Their hostility and rudeness was a bit much, IMO. You were nice enough.

Nice slur in the filename, there.

Yeah, I kinda went :| at that one.

Slur? Is "frog" a slur? o_O I'm confused, and a little surprised...being of french descent, I should have heard of that.

I was being catty and I rather thought the HTML would have not had that been SHOWN my bad i fixed it.

I'd say it is, on the same level of "cracker" or... similar. It's not really professional, anyway.

Also I tend to call my other french friends "la grenouille" all the time and they TAUGHT me that. But alas I did change it so only the images show, as i say i was at a loss for naming the screencaps I didn't intend for them to be public

I don't see what he said as rude. He politely told you he'd stop commissioning you (The paying for air thing was odd, but not horrible) and then said to have a nice day. He didn't ask for a refund, heck he sounded like he was going to just give up on it.

You on the other hand mention that you were "going to offer a replacement" then turn around and say "But your attitude was bad"?

That? I'm afraid, I see worse then his reply. He didn't get his item, and I'm sure he's sad. Did you scan it at least? If not, why not? Also, if you want to remain Anonymous about this client, learn how to be so - by not mentioning their gender, nationality, or smearing them via talking about how creepy they are without any sort of proof to back it up. No one needed to hear about that in the first place, so why bring it up if you're trying to keep his name under wraps?

Sorry, but frankly? Your attitude is the one that bugs me.

haha I had no idea! I really didn't realize it was a slur XD...I will have to remember that.

You could make it policy to use a tracking number for international (or all) orders. Alternatively, you could offer your commissioners to buy tracking numbers; and explicitly say that, if they refuse to pay for one and their order is lost, you will not refund or replace it. That will absolve you of any responsibility of lost post. (It's not really your responsibility once it leaves your hands, anyway, but post can be a lose-lose situation.)

I tend to agree that this guy was trying to get something for free, He was really jumping the gun there to accuse you of not mailing it, especially because he watched you draw it and knew for certain it was completed.

Can you not track shipping on international mail? :S (This is a genuine question, not just me being a jerk. )

I think you've done all you can, really.

It was mean to me, sorry but thats how I read it. I felt it was an implication that he was assuming I had scammed him when I was fully willing to replace it and even say so often and make several consessions to people who treat me respectuflly. This was not being respectful. Yes my attitude was poor in my reply but only then. getting messaged at 3 am and being told months after the fact when i had informed him i'd sent it WHEN i sent it Irritated the heck out of me.

I admit i was rude and irritiated in the reply. I make no excuses other than it was late and I was... "grr"

im going to be looking into it as i do have several regualar international sellers

Consider:

-Language may be a factor. What you took to be rudeness could be due to English not being his first language (I assume.) You do not have that same excuse for your tone (again, I assume.)

-What difference does it make that it was 3 am? It wouldn't have been 3 am for him, and besides, there was nothing forcing you to check your messages at 3 am.

-Him asking you months later was a point of courtesy, not rudeness. It would have been ruder if he had bothered you about it a week after you sent it, not a reasonable time like months later.

He absolutely should check his post office.

In 2002ish I sold some anime cels on ebay, one of which a buyer in France paid several hundred for. At the time I was offloading a great many things, so I set up a schedule to only ship two days each week to lessen trips to the post office. (This was in my auction's TOS and I reminded buyers in email.)

Because the buyer was overseas I had to pack up the cel and get a quote from the Post Office then get the proper shipping from the buyer, so actually getting the cel in the mail took a few days longer than expected (all while the buyer was chomping at the bit). The whole time I begged the buyer to put insurance on the package in case something happened. I stated it'd be packed as well as possible but if it got lost there was nothing I could do and he would be out of a good deal of money. The buyer refused every time.

So a month after the cel was shipped it still hadn't arrived and of course THEN the buyer was all 'can you put insurance on it.' And I said no, but they insisted I call and verify that from the post office. And I did, and the answer was as you would expect. But the clerk also said often with international shipments they hold the package in a depot and send out letters to the recipients stating there is a package to be claimed after a duty/tax is paid. And sometimes it takes a while for them to work thru the pile to get those letters out, but if the recipient is expecting the package and calls the depot it can be claimed in a speedier manner.

So you can guess where the package was (and had been for about two weeks).

Bottom line, I wouldn't refund the guy until after he has checked with his local post office.

I'm not sure why getting messaged at 3am matters...since you choose when to check FA. I understand, we all get frustrated. I'm just not sure I see him trying to say you scammed him. He may just not trust his post office, and figures it'd be sent back to you.

I feel as though maybe you read too much into his replies. I just cannot understand why you'd be so "grr" over that. At least you offered to refund, that's nice of you though.

On some packages you can, but it tends to be fairly pricey. I think at the USPS you have to use global priority to get tracking.

I think thats what gets me the most, is that i politely asked him to do so and he outright refused putting the blame on me. (or so It seemed) I mean okay I wasn't all that nice when i replied but still he didn't even want to bother with it.

See thats what I was wondering, if there were alternatives. because the tracking ive looked into with USPS is INSANE and it was enough just getting him to pay the $12 for the inked card. I usually don't charge people shipping unless they REALLY care about getting it in which it is an option, he didn't choose that option.

When I shipped a package to Canada recently [last Saturday] I tried to put a tracking number on it and was told I couldn't do international tracking.

You can't, I tried last Saturday and was told it's not possible to track internationally.

Er...I might not have been shipping priority on that one cause it was already like $10 to send it and I was sending a slew of other items and packages as well.

Edited 2011-09-19 03:44 (UTC)

I feel bad now, since my friends who are french acted like they had no issue with the name which was always said in jest. Note to self that its alot less tactless than they had me beleive. (though to be fair I let them call me "yank" and several other choice words they have for americans. Live and learn no?

I've been told you can't, other then delivery confirmation. =o

I'm just kind of surprised, I've never heard that as a slur whatsoever. How strange.

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