Advice on dealing with Acts of God and upset customers

[solalia.livejournal.com]

So!  On March 4th I was 37 weeks and 2 days pregnant.  That night I started having visual disturbances (spots and blindness) and was admitted to a hospital 2 hours from my house.  As the night progressed it became clear that I had a life-threatening condition called pre-eclampsia (it pretty much makes your blood pressure go crazy which can cause seizures and strokes and all sorts of fun stuff) and I was in danger and my son appeared to be dying.  Labor was induced but my son was getting sicker faster than the labor was progressing and I had to have an emergency c-section.

I'm still really sick and recovering from major abdominal surgery, and my son was really sick as well and spent 2 weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit.  I stayed with him in the hospital and couldn't go home because he had to gain weight to leave so I had to be there to feed him every 2-3 hours (and that whole breastpumping thing was not working out so well) and my house is over 2 hours away.

I tried to keep my customers in the loop so they knew why their prints hadn't arrived on time and everyone was pretty understanding except one customer who alternately e-mails me angry e-mails and apologetic e-mails.  And I'm kinda at a loss, really.  She thinks it's ridiculous, and I don't know what she expects from me.  I just about died, I'm recovering from major surgery, I have a newborn who I wasn't totally prepared for and who was seriously life-or-death sick, and I'm still really sick and on huge amounts of medication so I don't have a seizure and drop dead.  And because of the surgery, I'm not supposed to lift anything more than 10-15 pounds, so I can't lift the boxes of inventory in order to pack orders (but my husband has the weekend off and will help me).

I know good customer service would be to kiss her butt and fall all over myself apologizing... but I also feel like, she's an adult, and she seems to be under the impression her order is more important than my baby (who was still critically ill when she sent her first angry e-mail) and that whole not dying thing.

So what I'm wondering is, when something catastrophic and unpredictable happens to you and a customer gets impatient and starts threatening you with "I'll call so and so", is it wrong to gently inform them* of the reality of the situation, or should you just kiss butt, fall over yourself, etc.?


*As much as I would like to go crazy mama bear on her, I won't.  I really do mean gently, as in, "I AM still recovering from an event that was physically and emotionally traumatic, and would appreciate it if you could be patient while I try to get myself back together." or some variation of that.

Comments

[grygon.livejournal.com]

I know good customer service would be to kiss her butt and fall all over myself apologizing...

That is ridiculous. But I know why you say this, cause several artists here have received that kind of advice here. I, personally, am one who does not subscribe to that of "customer is ALWAYS right even if acts of nature make me die, I should still refund them even in death" type of mentality.

What did she want you to do? Clone yourself, a healthy clone, to do the work for you? I would really like this customer's name so I could avoid her. And I'm sorry you've had to go through this.

[ragecake.livejournal.com]

Simply,Tell her in simple terms, that you have been ill, so tough cookies on her.

She's obviously thinking that her print is more important than your health.

*hugs*

[magusmanx.livejournal.com]

No, you shouldn't have to kiss her butt. Customers are not always right. This was something that almost killed you, she can wait until your able to ship it off. The fact that she is getting angry is absurd.

[hikitsune.livejournal.com]

hey mama, unrelated to the advice, but how are you and the little one doing? i went through something sort of similar when i had my twins, so if you need someone to talk to, i'm open to listen.

[carnivaldog.livejournal.com]

If it were me, I'd just be handing over a refund. I wouldn't want to do business with someone who thinks a print of artwork is more dire and important than my own health, and the health of a newborn.

[jakejynx.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you came through all of that okay! D:

[jakejynx.livejournal.com]

And your son, too. (derp)

[ocelotish]

My thought is this: you had a really really good reason to not be fulfilling your orders, but that doesn't mean that your customer has to be happy with it. At this point I would tell her the reality only dealing with her order (e.g. I cannot get at it for 6 weeks or whatever, not trying to guilt trip, just present the facts) and that you'll be happy to complete her order then (with a hint to not to contact you until then), and offer her a refund if she's not happy with that. The customer may be, well, a bit of a jerk, but being a professional means handling it professionally. That doesn't mean catering to their every whim, but it does mean being direct and giving them what they want to the best of your ability, even if it's a refund.

I'd like to say that no one should ever want to cancel their order due to acts of god, but your problems aren't her problems. I don't think you should go silly trying to make it up to them, but make it their choice whether they want to continue in this venture or not. If they do, then they need to really drop the fact that you're late as you'll be getting it out to them when you are physically able, and if they don't, then you get them out of your hair.

Alternatively, you're completely within your rights to say "I am unable to fulfill your order right now, so I'm going to refund you." Short, sweet, and to the point. She doesn't have any grounds to complain on, and you get her out of your hair.

(Also, good luck to you and your son!)

[lilenth.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on the birth, I hope you and your little one get well soon.

There will always be one. You say you kept the customers in the loop but how much did they know? If it's everything then the person is being ridiculous, it's a print, she can wait a little while.

Though it's after the fact, it might have been an idea to organise some sort of backup (perhaps a friend or family member who knew what to do about orders and could do them for you for a period), or to hold off on orders for a set block of time around when you were due to give birth (week 37 is a normal time to give birth).

Unfortunately pregnancy is one of those things that can often go wrong, even if the results aren't life threatening, they're often enough to be a major disruption and even if it doesn't go wrong, it's still a major upset in life terms, most new parents take time to recover from the birth and to deal with the settling in period during which they usually get very little sleep. Even if you hadn't developed pre-eclampsia, I would still expect the same sort of delays in any woman trying to deal with work and a pregnancy.

So yes, if the customer knows, they're being ridiculous and very unsympathetic but at the same time, while you didn't plan for what happened? It would have been better to assume that yes, giving birth would cause some issues and that you would need a cushion of assistance regardless of how it went.

[korth-dono.livejournal.com]

What the heck man D: I don't understand how someone could be so unsympathetic to something like that happening to you and your son! At this point I would tell them in as polite as a fashion that their choices are to wait until you're well enough to fill orders (and give an approximation of time) or they can take a refund if they don't want to wait.

[sigilgoat.livejournal.com]

Pretty much exactly what I was going to say

[kerijiano.livejournal.com]

^this pretty much!

[thornwolf.livejournal.com]

I personally don't deal with people like that. I can understand them being frustrated but if I explain the situation and do the best I can and it's still not good enough, I just send them a refund and write it off as a loss. Sometimes they feel so bad about being /that much/ of a dick that I would rather refund them then deal with them, they'll apologize, send back the money and stop abusing me long enough to just accept that there will be delays and I will complete the order. Sometimes the realization that you have a limit and you are a human being is enough to set things right.

You don't have to accept verbal abuse, that is not part of the customer service package. They are entitled to their order that they paid for, and they are entitled to be concerned, but if something is taking longer than expected due to personal problems, they are also entitled to a refund. So it kind of goes hand in hand. If they refuse to be accepting of the delays, you should probably just refund them rather than take the abuse.

[riftryu.livejournal.com]

I agree with everyone else, the customer is being monstrously inconsiderate. I'd just either refund them, or suggest an approximate date when you will be able to send her print.

I wish the best for you and your baby son; get well soon, both of you.

[neolucky.livejournal.com]

I agree with everyone above, but I have a question: Is there anyone who could possibly help you send her print just to get her out of your hair? I am so sorry you had to go through that, I've been there in a similar situation (bloodpressure causing blindness and the whole near death thing) and theres no excuse for your clientels behavior.

I'd simply tell her she has to wait and has no choice BUT to wait. If there was no contract signed or anything then shes gonna be out of luck if she's trying to threaten you with some sort of action.

Otherwise refund her, it's not worth the stress!

[kadaria.livejournal.com]

You did what you were supposed to do which was keep them in the loop despite having a horrible event.
Good customer service never means that the customer is always right and quite frankly courtesy goes both ways.
http://positivesharing.com/2008/03/top-5-reasons-why-the-customer-is-always-right-is-wrong/
In my profession, you can "fire" clients that don't pay or are abusive to you and staff. I would refund her ASAP and be done doing business with her.

[spiffystuff.livejournal.com]

First up, wow! I'm glad you and your son were able to make it through all that okay! I wish you both a speedy recovery :D

Second off - no, don't kiss butt. However, realize that random internet person does not know you, does not know your troubles, and even if you tell them may well not really believe you (and possibly for good reason, maybe they have been lied to before).
Or perhaps they're just an egocentric SOB.
Either way, it sucks and you have a good excuse but you were late. Don't kiss butt but I do think some kind of apology or explanation is in order*, maybe even offer a refund to get them out of your hair. I dunno, "Your order was delayed and I apologize for that, I normally have a very good track record but I had a serious medical emergency from which I am still recovering. I hope you can be patient and I will get your product shipped out by ____ or else I can cancel your order if that is too long to wait"


* I say this without knowing what you have told people, how you've told them, or what the exchange with this particular person was

[mandyseley.livejournal.com]

Personally, I would refund their money and just drop the commission outright.

Frankly, LOTS of commissioners have "emergencies" come up suddenly and there are a lot of customers who are very cynical about it. You're not lying, you're really in a rough spot, but to the customer, you might just be another commissioner trying to make excuses, and it's very hard to be trusting if you've been burned before.

It will put their mind at ease to get their money back (they will know for sure you weren't trying to pull a fast one) and it will put your mind more at ease to have one less order to process and one less difficult person to handle at a time when you really don't need the additional stress.

Congratulations on the birth, and I hope both you and your son are feeling better as soon as possible!

[mestopho.livejournal.com]

I went through the same thing when I had my daughter, only I didn't know that I was pregnant when I my water broke. (Looong story, lol)

I'm glad someone else posted this first though, I was kinda afraid of someone being pissed I was off topic. Congrats on your son, and nuts to the commissioner. If she doesn't understand that life happens, then she needs a reality check.

[dreamerdragoon.livejournal.com]

Glad you and your son managed to pull through :) Congrats btw.

I'm gonna play devil's advocate, though . . . and say that so many artists with terrible customer service skills, or who are downright scammers, use excuses like "family troubles" and "I've been sick" and "my pet died" for their continuously tardy work and essentially ruin it for everybody who would only say that when they meant it. Who knows if this customer has been burned in the past or anything like that? It's very easy as a third party to say 'that buyer is totally insensitive!' but it's so easy to lie or exaggerate in online communications that, when it seems you're getting the short end of the stick, it's not always easy to extend your trust.

I'm absolutely not saying I think you're a liar, of course! I'm just trying to view it from the perspective of a buyer who probably doesn't know you on a personal level (I am assuming).

Anyways, on course of action I generally agree with spiffystuff :3 Don't kiss butt - after all, it's not your fault, and emergencies happen. Apologising for the delay, explaining briefly (no gory, personal detail) that it was an unavoidable medical emergency, and offering cancellation/refund/partial refund (whichever applies) if the customer is still not happy with the wait is probably the best way to go.

[ocelotish]

I'd like to point out that this seems like it's a print order, so 3-4 weeks to ship would be ridiculous under almost any other circumstances.

[ryunwoofie.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately age has nothing to do w/ how mature someone is. I've seen 5 year olds act better than that person.. dang.
I'd say if you have the money refund em and block them. They are obviously not someone you want to work with. :\

[amarafox.livejournal.com]

I agree with Carnivaldog. I'd be arranging a refund for sure as well.

Hope you and baby are doing OK.

[amarafox.livejournal.com]

+1 for the positive sharing link. That site is what kept me going when I had a really crappy job <3

[hollowzero.livejournal.com]

This.

Just offer a refund and hopefully get them out of your life.

[stormslegacy.livejournal.com]

I would force a refund. Give them their money back and end it. You've got more important things to take care of.

[karsenslater.livejournal.com]

Do not kiss butt. You're not even in a situation to be worrying about ridiculous customers like this. Your life and your baby is INFINITELY more important than their commission.

[anjel-kitty.livejournal.com]

Is refunding her not at all an option at this point?

Has it been a pretty long time since she got the commission? I'd refund her if it was possible altogether.


I have seen a lot of excuses before, but your's definitely an instance where I think its warranted that the customer cut you some slack. This was a life threatening experience, and the impacts are going to last a while so you aren't going to be able to magically rebound with a pencil in you hand ready to go. I think if this person refuses to understand your very extenuating circumstances, refund their money and if they threaten to out you about excuses, make their name known on here.


Sorry to hear about your terrible birthing experience :(

[chronidu.livejournal.com]

Pretty much this

[martes.livejournal.com]

I'd just refund and wash my hands of the whole thing.

But to play minor devil's advocate, the fandom has plenty of artists who flat-ass lie about 'emergencies' to put off commissioners, and there's no real way for anyone to know what's true and what isn't. So it's *possible* your customer encountered one of those previously. For example, I have someone who owes me a 4+ year art trade, and I've been given every excuse from illness to forgetting, to emotional upset to "someone stole it."

So, yeah, just refund then you won't have to worry about it any more.

[immortalpanda.livejournal.com]

You don't have to kiss her butt OR fall all over yourself for someone as impatient as she is! How cold of her to be so rude to you!

If I were in your shoes, I would refund her and either blacklist her, or tell her that she can repurchase the prints from you when you are well enough to do what you need to do to get them out. (personally, I'd blacklist her, but I'm "mean" like that)

Don't let her bully you into free things/shipping or pressure you with guilt or anger. You are recovering, and the health of your son and yourself comes FIRST.

[immortalpanda.livejournal.com]

P.S... Congratulations!

[tea-lover84.livejournal.com]

I have nothing to add that hasn't been said a million times already but congratulations! Relieved you and the newborn are doing swell :)

[alcyione.livejournal.com]

I can't believe that anyone would be so... difficult to you at this time. Geez.

I'm glad to hear that you and your son are doing okay now! Congrats, and well wishes! <3

[china-kitty.livejournal.com]

I agree. If a customer thinks his/her stuff is more important than family emergencies, I'll definitely refuse service.

[pocket-entropy.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say glad you guys are ok! I had pre-eclampsia too and it's horrible. I don't think some people realize how dangerous it is and I'm sorry that customer is giving you a hard time.

(ps, if you need any advice or support or anything, lemme know. I know the first few weeks are rough, especially when you're sick/sore/etc etc.)

[delgrotto.livejournal.com]

lol @ "act of god". What rubbish.

Either refund the customer or get their order out. Not to be rude, but it's not the customer's problem what happened to you. As a business person, you have an obligation to fulfill their order.

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear of your problem and hope your recovery continues to go well. I can't speak of the particulars of this case since they are not provided, but speaking in general of my experience with furry artists, a few things that come to mind:

1. Were you already behind schedule before the emergency? While I think most people are willing to wait a bit longer if an emergency happens, what has happened to me is that the artist has already asked for a number of extensions for non-emergency reasons. When they're already months overdue, it becomes a bit harder to be sympathetic, especially given how some artists suddenly start having strings of multiple emergencies, one right after the other. Again, not saying any of that applies in this case.

2. As several have suggested, just refund their money. Although not, as some have suggested, in a "well I don't want you as a customer anyways", but more a "my business is on hold do to the emergency, so here's your money back; hopefully once things are better we can do business again". If the emergency was indeed the only thing preventing you from working, they'll likely to come back

3. The furry art community needs to do a better job policing itself. As several others mentioned, part of the reason this comissioner may not be believing you is that they've had people use fake emergencies before to skip out on a comission without returning the fee paid for it. This is such a common tactic that anyone who does any significant number of comissions has probably been burned multiple times, which again makes it harder to be sympathetic. One of the most frustrating parts of this is that the furry art community tends to act like ripping off customers is some sort of perk. There are artists that are notorious for ripping dozens of people off, and yet remaing disturbingly popular with other artists. As the saying says, people who lie down with dogs sometimes wake up with fleas; as long as ripping off customers remains acceptable behavior, artists shouldn't be suprised when they're not trusted as much as they'd like.

[fenris-lorsrai.livejournal.com]

Agree. Refund the money and then they're out of your life. More importantly you're no longer devoting head space to whether the print arrived, will this person be back to bitch some more? Refund and they're no longer someone you have to spend time worrying about. It gets rid of one of the drains on your time and energy.

[fenris-lorsrai.livejournal.com]

I did an article for a business blog on which types of customers should be Fired. Dear customer, You're Fired! (http://bookshopblog.com/2010/12/28/dear-customer-youre-fired/) It does make the distinction between customers that are having a bad day or have a legitimate complaint and the ones that should be fired. There's some people that you don't want as customers because they don't want what you're selling, they have some sort of mental/social game they want to play and buying is something is just how they get you to play.

[likeshine.livejournal.com]

firstly, congrats :)

secondly: please refund that person and wash your hands of them. i've found that trying to please difficult customers only leads to more unhappiness and stress, so i think it would be best to cut your losses and move on.

although, people get downright mean with me for refunding sometimes. i never got why, though.

[ichigoneko33.livejournal.com]

Agreeing with this.

Personally, I'd be sympathetic and I'd wait a while, as long as someone updates me personally and keeps me up to date. But that's me, others aren't obligated to do so, which is why you get a person like this once in a while. Most people will be fine, but yes, some wouldn't. Does this mean she doesn't care about you as a person? Maybe, maybe not. She could have gotten scammed before and some people kinda freak out in those situations.

The best you can do is either refund or ask a friend or you're husband to send the print off once he can, as long as the delay isn't all too bad. If this were a commission rather then a print, then others would understand more that you need a bit of time. Just like anytime someone falls ill and can't work for a little bit. But I'm sure the person feels you can send the print easily.

Congrats to you though and hope you recover fast. I do apologize if this sounds harsh in any way. I certainly don't mean the person should act like that, but she's in her right to do so. I also don't feel you should do the "customer is always right" thing. You just need to use one of the options and do it as soon as possible.

[oki-warwolf.livejournal.com]

This exactly. Don't even shed another bead of sweat over this person, especially if you've already made clear what your current situation is. If the customer can't be understanding about an actual case of life or death, then you don't need to be doing business with them.

I hope you and your baby pull through.

[tamararama.livejournal.com]

As someone working retail IRL, I do agree with this. The customer is not always right, and is not the king of the land. The customer has rights, as does the artist, and such unexpected and life-threatening events should always come first.

Given what happened to you, your customer has no right to complain.

[cissa.livejournal.com]

I think people get mean when refunded because when they were angry and demanding they felt they were IN CONTROL... and refunding them removes you from their sphere of control AND makes it obvious that they never had the degree of CONTROL they thought they did. Also, if one is scrupulously polite and they have any degree of self-awareness, they realize they look really bad compared to you. :)

It's not a rational reaction to getting a refund when one is unhappy with what's going on, so it obviously has to do with some emotional thing on their part.

[zrcalo.livejournal.com]

(latepost I know, second page)

I'm so glad that when something like this happened to me that I was currently working on a friend's commission and not some random stranger's.

but as far as getting back on my feet and getting all of everything done, I started posting very detailed (though lacking alot of private information) explanations as to the progress of my "event".

aka; parents deciding that I shouldnt be doing art at home because I was "in their way" and making the internet cut out at midnight and I worked nights... seriously I'd wake up and have 2-3 hours of internet each day.

what I did was explain what I was going through and what I was doing to remedy the situation. aka I moved out.

even went so far as to describing what got moved when. aka 'got my bed and desk in. started working on ____'s fursuit, still need to move fur and foam'

and that really seemed to remedy the situation.

I hope you feel better soon!

[bncreation.livejournal.com]

I say, Hang em' high.

Its just a furry print, I agree with Likeshine. Tell the nutter to f-off.

Congrats on the newborn and the recovery.