problems with a friend

[bf-fursuits.livejournal.com]

well, earlier this year, I had an old fixer-upper bodysuit/handpaws/tail/footpaws and a friend of mine decided to get it, however, she has a habit of disappearing and not paying for things or not doing what she's been paid to do lately.

its getting very difficult to contact her, I've posted on her FA in shouts and notes [which hasn't been updated in months] and also tried phoning her and such to no avail, its either not picked up or cuts off for some reason.

I'd go over to her house, but its a fair trek without the garuntee she'd even be there.

I've resorted to having my partner text her [he gets free texts, I don't] and I was assured she'd pay for the suit as soon as she was paid for something else [a german shepard suit she was asked to do] which wasn't what she told me she'd be doing when she took the suit home with her... I didn't have the room for it, so I let her, seems you can't even trust 'friends' you've had for 8 years or more now, eh?

its not ALOT of money, its £100, but thats what I was going to put towards my rent this month, which i'm now out-of-pocket for.

she said she would be paying me BEFORE eurofurence, when is coming up in just over a week. and I've had no contact from her in weeks, probably closer to a month. looking at her FA shouts, she's also been screwing over others as well... now I HATE to be like this to someone who I consider a friend, but honestly? making someone wait 4 YEARS for a suit made of funfur, telling them its finished when its still barely half way done is NOT on.

when I tried talking to her about it being wrong in person the last time I saw her, I got the idea it would just start an argument, so I dropped it :/

I told the guy to post his case here, but he hasn't yet... so the jist of the problem for him is: paid over $500 for a suit made of funfur, told it was finished about a year ago, its stil not finished or shipped, and it was ordered 4 years ago. I've seen it myself in person.

she also owes people art from RBW last year [last september] and still hasn't completed the orders either.

is there any way to really approach a friend who has a fair bit of a temper and tell them what their doing is REALLY out of order?

according to her facebook [i don't use facebook, my partner does] she updated saying something along the lines of being single again, so I don't really want to start up more drama and seem like a 'heartless bitch' when she's going through relationship issues, but honestly? your RL employer isn't going to care if you've had a break up or you cat died or whatever, they just want what they paid you for in a timely manner/before the specified deadline.


anyway. rambling finished, i know its a miss-mash of problems here, but they all have a common root :/

her FA is http://www.furaffinity.net/user/blackpheonix

Comments

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

I know it's not helpful now, but even when dealing with friends, you should treat them like any customer. The only time I'd give a friend something before getting paid is if I was willing to just write it off and call it a gift.

Now? Honestly I don't think there's anything you can do. Even if you confront her you may never get your money. She has a history of mistreating customers, and she's already made it quite clear that your friendship isn't going to make her treat you any better. So you're probably out of luck.

In your place I would probably send her an e-mail politely insisting that she pay up, but that's more because I believe in being honest to friends, not really because I'd expect her to respond by paying.

[bf-fursuits.livejournal.com]

i'm close to just going over to her place after EF and demanding the suit back if she doesn't pay by the end of september... i probably couldn't get that much for it, but the claws on it cost me £60 [their custom aqua glow in the dark large resin claws

[kayla-la.livejournal.com]

I wonder if it could be reported as stolen property?

[bf-fursuits.livejournal.com]

it could, but the court fees and such would probably make it not worth it if it did go through to court :/ considering its £100 owed

[kayla-la.livejournal.com]

I don't know about where you live, but usually in cases like this, they would just send a cop with you to the house and have you retrieve the item in their presence. Regardless, court fees are usually paid by the loser, as well. I'm not a lawyer, mind you.

[baronyiffington.livejournal.com]

I have no idea where you live, but if you are in the US (which I doubt, since you talk about euro money) the loser pays all court fees, so if you have a pretty solid case, chances are you won't pay anything for the lawyer after the win.

[demonofdreams.livejournal.com]

If it's £, it's definitely the UK.

[fatkraken.livejournal.com]

Wait, you were selling her something and she hasn't paid, right? I assume you still have the item. Just sell it to someone else.

[jakejynx.livejournal.com]

"I was assured she'd pay for the suit as soon as she was paid for something else [...] which wasn't what she told me she'd be doing when she took the suit home with her... I didn't have the room for it, so I let her..."

[fatkraken.livejournal.com]

ah, missed that bit.

[snarky-fox.livejournal.com]

If you want your money threaten legal action. If you know where she lives and all her info take it to the police. If she had a bad history I don't really know why you sold anything to her, and giving it to her before getting any money was just a mistake on your part and shouldn't have been done with anyone. Even if she's a friend.

"she updated saying something along the lines of being single again, so I don't really want to start up more drama and seem like a 'heartless bitch' when she's going through relationship issues, [b]but honestly? your RL employer isn't going to care if you've had a break up or you cat died or whatever, they just want what they paid you for in a timely manner/before the specified deadline[/b]. "

Exactly? Breaking up never killed anyone. She's doing this to herself. If she didn't want the stress of someone hounding her for money then she should have paid up in the first place. It doesn't seem like she cares much about your relationship, so why should you care?

"when I tried talking to her about it being wrong in person the last time I saw her, I got the idea it would just start an argument, so I dropped it :/"

Sounds to me like you let this girl walk all over you. Stand up for yourself and get your money. That is the advice I have.

"is there any way to really approach a friend who has a fair bit of a temper and tell them what their doing is REALLY out of order?"

You tell them straight up. There pussy-footing around an issues never solves anything. A lot of people are way to thick headed to understand anything but the blunt truth. You don't have to be mean about it, but don't try and make the issue seem like less of a deal than it really is.

[snarky-fox.livejournal.com]

Grrrr, my bold didn't work. Coding fail.

[fatkraken.livejournal.com]

"Oi, you owe me a hundred quid. Gimme the fucking money or gimme my fucking suit back you thieving cow"

that should do it. If it turns into a fight, well, not your fault

[fatkraken.livejournal.com]

She's effectively stolen their stuff, and soft words have not worked. Cussing is appropriate

[fatkraken.livejournal.com]

You know I'm pretty much mostly joking right?

[bf-fursuits.livejournal.com]

trust me, I would at this point :/ if razor doesn't put his case up here soon, I may ask if I could add it to this, he doesn't have an LJ...

she only recently [that I heard] started doing this, but since I gave her that suit, ALL i've been hearing is just bad news, which makes me think i'll never see the money, threatening court on her is something i could do, but with EF closing in, its not something i'd be in a hurry to do, I'll give her until the end of september, then i'll start getting rough [figuratively of course, i'm a twig that couldn't hurt a fly]

[snarky-fox.livejournal.com]

I doubt you'd even have to take her to court if you just threaten it. That should scare her and she should just fork it over.

[whydah.livejournal.com]

Professional. Any kind of aggressive language/mannerisms in this type of situation should never be recommended. If you need to go to Judge Judy after this you shouldn't be the one people are cringing at.

[bf-fursuits.livejournal.com]

the main issue around this is that i KNOW the kind of shit she spreads about people, it took alot for me to post this, knowing what she'd try and spread about me :/ but I've just had enough with this, if EF wasn't in a week, i'd be over her house DEMANDING the suit back [she also 'held onto' one of my older suits, made by qarrezel for about a year before giving it back to me after i said she could borrow it for a day at an event... it took me hounding her for days and finaly catching her at home before she gave it back.. even then, I still to this day don't have the footpaws.]

i had a rocky patch 3 years ago regarding fursuits, i refunded EVERYONE and started fresh because i felt terrible making them wait, she gets job seekers allowance, it wouldn't take many job seekers payments to pay back the guy whos been waiting, or pay me what she owes... its basicly free money anyway

[snarky-fox.livejournal.com]

Wow, that makes it even worse! D:
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I say who cares what she says about you? Your real friends and the people who matter won't take her shit.

[lilenth.livejournal.com]

Handle it like you would anyone who didn't pay. Send her a letter by recorded (it must be recorded so you evidence that she received it) delivery (keep a copy for your records), something like:

"To [her full legal name].

Regarding the agreement of [date she got the fursuit from you] wherein you agree to pay [your full legal name] [amount of money agreed upon] for [item you sold her].

You have not met your half of the agreement, payment is expected on [date you choose] which is [interval between now and then] from [date of the letter], if payment is not forthcoming by this deadline then legal proceedings will be started.

[your signature]"

If she doesn't pay up by the deadline, take your copy of the letter and proof that she received it down the local small claims court, the clerk will give you the forms, you fill them out and pay a small fee and she'll be summoned, if she doesn't show up? She loses automatically. If she does and the court finds in your favour which is likely, she'll have to pay not just the money for the suit but also your legal costs. If she refuses to pay, they can issue court orders to garnish any money she has coming in.

[lilenth.livejournal.com]

Oh and if you run into any snags or just want more advice on filing small claims, try speaking to your local citizens advice bureau who can assist you.

[spiffystuff.livejournal.com]

Doesn't seem like much of a friend to me. Drop that angle, she's just stole your stuff and is conning someone else :(

[shirikdraguinea.livejournal.com]

This is actually a bit of a shock to me, I didn't expect this sort of behaviour from her :( It is a bit concerning that on a certain forum she's put up a post "Taking one Partial Fursuit Commission for RBW!" .... not very good business practice especially when you owe work :\

[wolf-goat.livejournal.com]

She's bitched about people (such as you) behind their backs all the time when I've seen her...I'm not surprised you're having trouble now.