Advice, please?

[volmise.livejournal.com]

I've kind of been pinned into a commission that I can't cancel. It's for a friend and they're being extremely pushy.

Let's start back at the beginning, it'll be easier for everyone.

Basically three months ago a friend of mine came to me for a commission of his human character. I told him flat out that I'm not the best with humans and actually get frustrated and have to scrap any attempts I do when I draw one. He insisted, told me his commission would be easy and that everything would be okay.

I say screw it, agree to the commission, and then give him my commission terms. Everyone I treat, friend or not, has to follow these. He read them, agreed and then sent me refs, telling me to hold off on doing anything until he paid. He agreed to pay with PayPal. Which is mainly what I accept.

Comes back to me two days later saying that PayPal refuses to verify his bank account and card (I honestly think he just doesn't know what he's doing, and I linked him to an FAQ that addresses these issues) and that he went ahead and bought a GreenDot card to pay for it. (GreenDot cards are prepaid PayPal cards. You use them to load funds onto your PayPal, or to transfer funds to another Paypal, in a nutshell.)

This is where I got upset. Since 1. he couldn't get a Paypal, meaning if I needed to drop the commission I can't refund him. and 2. He did not discuss this method of payment with me prior to doing it. My commission contact explicitly says to INFORM ME ahead of time what method of payment you plan on using.

He then stops talking to me after telling me he has the card. Never gave me the pin, so I never got the funds, therefore I never started work. I figured, okay, it's over and done with.

He contacts me two days ago, angry that he hasn't seen any work yet. I point him back to my terms and tell him flat out, I don't start work until I have payment. He then says he never agreed to that, but then gives me the pin to the card and has me start regardless.

So here I sit right now with $30 in my PayPal that I cannot refund to him, an angry friend who insists that I can draw humans and things will be fine, and a horrible sketch that I'm not satisfied with and I know he won't be either. If it were a matter of just practicing the human anatomy and giving him something using that, hey, I'd be doing it. But I don't want to give him a picture I'm not fully satisfied with. Not to mention I'm not comfortable drawing these things anyways.

What do I do?

Comments

[skittlewolf.livejournal.com]

Can you transfer the funds to your bank account and just give him a $30 pre-paid card back? Give him cash? Can you do the greendot thing too?

[volmise.livejournal.com]

I'm probably going to do something along these lines, rather than give him something I know we'll both hate.

[skittlewolf.livejournal.com]

I think this will work out best. You even told him you weren't good/comfortable doing humans. You haven't started any work and as an artist you have every right to cancel/refund/turn down a commission as long as you refund.

[volmise.livejournal.com]

Truthfully after he paid I got a rough sketch down, but nothing past that. Really it's taken 30 minutes of my time to do, so a full refund + giving him what work I've done isn't gonna kill me.

I need to stop letting friends come between what I know is right and best for me. I'm a bit of a pushover sometimes. :T

[taelifoe.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, I can't blame you for feeling a little upset. In hindsight, you might have done best to just flat-out turn down the commission, no matter how your friend tried to coax you into it, but hey, sometimes these things happen.

I do think it's good that you have stuck to your TOS, regardless of who the commissioner is, and that you are not settling for giving your friend work that you're not happy with. Somehow though, I get the impression that someone is going to be unhappy with this in the end, whether it be you or your friend or both of you. Just gotta grit your teeth and go through it, and if something like this happens again, just stick with "No means no."

At this point, if there is any way you could refund the money to your friend, I would strongly suggest that. Since he doesn't have a Paypal, I would say try to cash out that money, even if you have to transfer it to a regular bank account to do so, and then give the money back to your friend. If he gives you grief over it, I would just say something like, "Sorry, but I've tried to work with this and I'm just not comfortable with drawing humans. I can't produce what you want, and I don't feel right about giving you something I feel is second rate."

Stand your ground. Don't let someone force you into doing something you're not comfortable with and are obviously not happy about. Good luck!

[volmise.livejournal.com]

Ah, yeah. He's just that one friend you feel really bad about saying no to, so against my better judgement I just kinda went with it.

I'm going to try a bank transfer or something similar to refund him, and maybe give him what work HAS been done, (not much, just a head and a rough sketch of the body, but eh.) and cancel the commission outright.

Thank you though. I'll stand my ground a bit better next time, that's for sure.

[taelifoe.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you'll be okay. It's best just to take care of the issue now before it worsens.

[dinobutt.livejournal.com]

The best thing to do would have been to not accept the commission in the first place, but I'm sure you know that now. It's good that you're not backing down from your TOS, though!

If you can't refund him and can't draw what he wants, maybe you could offer to use the money he sent you buy him a commission of the same value from an artist he likes who might be more comfortable drawing humans? It may not be exactly what he wanted, but it could turn out to be a good compromise, and he may end up happier with the results than he would be otherwise.

[volmise.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, if he doesn't want a refund but still wants art this is also something I could discuss with him maybe. There's a few artists he likes that I'm in contact with, and most of them have open spots.

Thanks. You and everyone else here are so helpful and insightful. I'm so glad I'm watching this community and can come here if I need help. :)

[jakejynx.livejournal.com]

If you're going to take commissions, you need to learn to say no.

Transfer the funds to your bank account, get a money order, and mail him his money back (with delivery confirmation). Tell him that you are simply not capable of drawing humans, and you are not interested in doing human commissions.

[volmise.livejournal.com]

Seems like the best course of action, sadly. I just have a hard time saying no to my friends - especially when they're being pushy. Makes me feel like a huge bitch if I go against them. :(

This won't happen again, that's for sure.

[aerospiritual.livejournal.com]

"I just have a hard time saying no to my friends - especially when they're being pushy. Makes me feel like a huge bitch if I go against them."

doooon't feel like that. if they're pushing you into places that are well beyond your comfort zone and make you feel uneasy doing or drawing, then you have every single right to say no. if they treat you poorly because of it, then it's best to consider whether or not they were a worthwhile friend or not. standing up for yourself and sticking to your guns doesn't make you bitchy, being pushy and manipulative on the otherhand just so you can try to get your way, can be construed as such.

[rhazafax.livejournal.com]

I can totally relate to that but the thing that I keep in mind is, even if it's your bestest best friend on the whole damn planet, the moment the word 'commission' is dropped, it becomes a business transaction and when you have a TOS in place, it MUST be followed. If a buyer cannot follow the TOS and tries to bully you, then you have EVERY right to decline and refund.

[nijipie.livejournal.com]

I would definitely refund him the money in whatever way you can. It's not worth it to go through everything, especially since you showed him the TOS and I'm assuming that by paying means that you agree to the TOS itself.

Honestly, I think the best thing to do in the future is to kindly decline a commission if you are certain it's something you don't feel comfortable doing. People will understand, if they keep pushing that it will be fine, continue to politely decline.

[mrst4nkr.livejournal.com]

Tell him exactly what you put here.
Show him the ToS he agreed to. Tell him you just can't/won't/don't want to do it, and offer how you'd like to refund. (I'd also apologize for causing him any trouble, and since he's a friend, doodle him up something for his time/trouble to get the greendot card.) If he doesn't want the refund, ask him to change the subject matter of the commission. See if you can work it out.

I used to have a hard time saying "no" but once you end up super unhappy because of things like this, you might learn nice ways to say it.

Good luck! :D

[theblackdragon.livejournal.com]

it's a hard lesson to learn, but it's usually kinder to flat-out refuse than it is to let them keep pushing you into something you aren't up to doing. you seem like you've got a solid plan re: the refund, though, and pointing him in the direction of other people better at drawing human characters sounds like a great idea too. good luck!

[kawaiipiepie.livejournal.com]

"I don't start work until I have payment. He then says he never agreed to that,"

That really made me raise an eyebrow, at him, not you. At that point I'd of cancelled... But it sounds like you've got lots of good suggestions on where to go from here.

[claytronic.livejournal.com]

Never draw something you're not 500% comfortable with drawing.

[epiceternity.livejournal.com]

One other option, would he be willing for you to do a different piece of artwork of something you feel confident to draw to the same value?

[fastbreak333.livejournal.com]

Show the sketch to your friend first. Sometimes it can be only as bad as you assume and other people will helpfully judge it for you. If it turns out to not be a very stellar sketch, try to discuss some changes in your commission. Perhaps he has a character you'd be much more comfortable drawing or there could be a way to refund the $30 gift card. (Maybe transfer the money to your account and give it back there, but check if that's allowed.)

[thejeweledhorn.livejournal.com]

He violated the TOS. Friend or not, you have a right to cancel the commission because he violated the rules. Even if he hadn't violated your pay rules, you have a right to tell someone no. Even if you have second thoughts. If he's a decent friend he'll get over being mad about the commission.

[ocelotish]

My thought is this - give him a sketch and if he doesn't like it offer him a refund (as jakejynx suggested) or a different picture, if he does, go ahead with it. You warned him that you couldn't draw humans and he's getting what he wanted. I don't think he'll believe you no matter what you say, only if he doesn't like the picture.

Personally, I don't see how this is any different than a human, but if it is to you, it is to you. I'd recommend drawing it like that and then just changing the few features that make in anthro or take it as getting paid to learn how to draw humans.

And next time, don't let him bully you into it next time, you have to stand up for yourself.

[ocelotish]

Nevermind, I didn't realize the original sketch there was by someone else and you just cleaned it up. Sorry!

[ocelotish]

Though this one is pretty darn human-esque too! I think you just don't trust yourself enough to draw humans. Believe me, that was me for a long time.

Last post, I swear! I wish I could edit!

[volmise.livejournal.com]

Sadly, that's not something I drew myself, that is a collab between a friend of mine and myself. Where he does the sketch and then I do the lineart and coloring.

But I'll be taking the advice where I'll show him what I have and then discuss what to do from there.

[volmise.livejournal.com]

oops, and then my email didn't let me see the other reply, sorry for the mixup there!

[ocelotish]

Not a problem! The cute pikachu icons make it all worth it!

[clockworkshadow.livejournal.com]

Make sure that you have in your TOS a clause that says you may cancel the transaction at any time if you feel uncomfortable with where it's going.

This way if they get pushy, you can just refer them to that.

I know it's very difficult to say no to a friend, but a friend should know not to push you into something you don't like to do. If he were to see you as a huge bitch for standing up to him, then maybe you should refuse to do commissions for him in the future. I know that sounds mean, but you have to protect *you* too.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I hope that you get this resolved okay! Good luck hun. :)

P.S.- LJ also has an inbox if the emails aren't showing, you can peek there to see if they've shown up there instead/as well. :)