General question: How to say "No"?

[taelifoe.livejournal.com]

Hey all! First time posting here, so please forgive me if I come across as a bit awkward. I have been reading through a lot of the stuff in the A_B community for a little while now, and being someone who has started taking commissions, it occurred to me that sometimes I may have to turn away potential clients who have a troublesome reputation.

My question to the community is this: If I'm approached by an interested client who I KNOW is going to cause problems for me, how can I bow out gracefully? Obviously, I don't want to be in bad form and say something like, "Well thanks but no thanks, I've been told you're a complete (insert rude name here) and I couldn't stomach doing business with you."

So......advice, anyone? Thoughts? Thanks in advance!

Comments

[ursulav.livejournal.com]

Well, there's always "I'm a little busy at the moment and not taking on any commissions just this minute, but you could try back later."

This is a problem if you're doing, like, open commission posts, but if they're approaching YOU, can't hurt.

[neolucky.livejournal.com]

Sadly the problem with that is they DO try back later! I've fallen into that rut so many times from being a total pushover...then I get stuck saying it to the same client repeatedly. It ends up becoming very awkward for both sides =\ when finally you're kind of forced to explain why you don't want to work for them.

[volmise.livejournal.com]

Really, all you can do is be polite about it. Something along the lines of:

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline doing business with you based on your past feedback with others."

Keep it short, simple, apologize, and tell them exactly why you won't do work for them.

[gizagiza.livejournal.com]

Agree with both Ursula and Volmise, that' s the sort of thing you should say. If you're professional and they get offended or throw a hissy fit anyway, well then... there's not much you can do about that. Then you don't have to respond to them anymore. :P

[taelifoe.livejournal.com]

Hmm, you bring up a good point. I guess there's only so far I can take it, and then however they react beyond that is up to them.

[squirrelly-kaku.livejournal.com]

Lying about being too busy to take on commissions if you say you're open is a really bad idea. It kinda puts you in a bad light when you say that, even if they are a troublesome client.

The best thing you can do is just be honest and polite. Tell them that you're sorry, but you feel that due to their history, you can't accept their commission.

Sometimes you gotta accept that you can't make everyone happy. It's alright to say no to prevent something bad from happening. As long as you're polite about it, there should be no need for you to fret about it.

[taelifoe.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's exactly one of the things that had me concerned. I'd rather be honest and up front with people, instead of having something like, "Ohh, I'm closed right now, sorry!" when I may have just posted something about how open I am for commissions. Thanks for your advice!

[aerospiritual.livejournal.com]

I'm really looking forward to the responses here; this was actually a question I was literally /just/ typing up to submit to the comm.

it's a little tricky to think of something appropriate to say to a reputedly troublesome commissioner when you're advertising a whole bunch of open slots. what one person told me in the past, was to just wait for the slots to fill by other people and to just tell them that you're full. or that you just closed up due to time constraints and some of the complexities of the other commissions.

but I really don't know; I don't like to be dishonest and it's a pretty awkward situation that I too, would love to read some feedback on.

[kadaria.livejournal.com]

How about "I don't think I am the best artist to be handling your commission. Thank you for your interest, but I must decline.". The only caution I have about this sort of decline is being certain that they really have this bad reputation and it's not just hearsay. Having proof is nice because when they press the issue you can link them back to their AB beware.

[cissa.livejournal.com]

Yes, this. It's very difficult for them to argue that you are indeed suited to do their commission- though some will try, and you can just keep repeating the declining. :)

If pressed too much, I just say "I am not confident we can work well together, and it's very important to me that my clients be happy with my work. I think you would be happier with someone else's." (In my case i mean that if they want Wal-mart designs for less than Wal-mart prices, they should hie themselves over to Wal-mart and stop bugging me. :P )

[collie-fluff.livejournal.com]

Don't lie about being full. Just be honest and explain that you do not wish to do business with them due to their history with other artists.

They'll whine, complain, and probably threaten to post to A_B about you, but go ahead and let them. If they throw a hissy fit, you are not required to reply to them. If they are as bad as you think they are, then they'll show everyone who the bigger person is.

[notorious_hunty.livejournal.com]

"I appreciate your admiration for my work, but because of your past feedback, I'm afraid I cannot accept your commission."

That's how I'd say it. Lying and saying you're busy is asking to open a can of worms.

[fenris-lorsrai.livejournal.com]

"I am sorry, but I do not believe I will be able to complete the task in the time frame and fashion you are looking for. I will have to decline."


This is the polite way of saying that you will not work for free, employ a time machine to deliver their commission last week, or do the work of ten people. It says nothing directly about their reputation.

It does imply you can't do what they what, but you can't always do what people want even on the best days. If someone came to me and said they wanted, Z, y, and Z, all of which I could do, but then said they wanted it as a oil painting, I just CAN'T do that. I don't know a damn thing about oil painting. Even the best clients are sometimes bad matches because you can't do some part of what they want.

So don't feel bad for turning down someone that wants you to be their art monkey for a deep discount (or free) that they get to abuse all the want. Sorry, nope, can't do it!

[wolf-goat.livejournal.com]

I disagree with a lot of people here I'm afraid. I would not talk about any past histories. People are always friends with loads of other people, no matter how much of a douche they are, and if you make comments about their "past history" there's a good chance you're poisoning a bunch of people you don't even know from coming near you. It's not good business. Why would you intentionally do something inflammatory?

The best way to handle it, imo, is either "oh I'm very sorry, I'm afraid I'm not taking new commissions right now" (if they approach you) or if it's some kind of open post, you can either lie and say you've just filled up (if you are certain you can get away with that) or you can ask what their idea was and then tell them you don't think you can do it justice for blah blah whatever reason. Leading lines like "I'm sure you can understand...["that I would want to do the best work possible and give you a picture you're truly happy with", for example]" are great for getting people to happily accept things like that.

But yeah, that's my two cents. Other people might have more qualms about being dishonest, but in my view, business comes first. Be nice, and keep 'em happy, even if you're turning them away.

[oceandezignz.livejournal.com]

"Please accept my apology, but I don't believe I am the best artist to assist you in your project."

To me, if you're going to decline someone, do your best to make it so they have no way to weasel in, in the future. Don't use words or phrases like 'currently' or 'at this time/moment' because that will just invite them to ask you when you WILL be, which is ultimately what you want to avoid!

[gizagiza.livejournal.com]

This is the best response I've seen so far imo. Putting the fault on yourself rather than them is always easier for them to swallow.

[kairi-koitra.livejournal.com]

Maybe just "I'm sorry I recently filled up my open slots so I really do not have time to take another at this moment. Please give me a few weeks/months to catch up and then maybe we can work something out." Or you can wait until they post their idea and say that "I'm really sorry but I don't feel comfortable with this type of a commission with the complexiety or content. I just do not feel I can give you my best work on this. I hope you find someone else."

At least your letting them know that you've acknowledged them and things, plus its not out right lying to them its just saying no but with a nice tone about it. not sure if this helps or not though.

[hellebore.livejournal.com]

I just say No and if they keep persisting, I don't read notes/emails from them. It's that easy. Let them throw a fit, but don't let it get to you, either. I did this with Hirtes and never had lashback.

[bailzzararco.livejournal.com]

If I were approached, I wouldn't want to say they were black-listed. I think I'd go with a "gosh, thanks so much for your interest, but I don't think I can do this one...it's out of my usual comfort zone, and I wouldn't want to disappoint." and then ignore any further pestering, or just keep saying "sorry, gotta pass." Maybe you could also put something in your TOS that you are a member of "artists beware" and will not do business with anyone with unresolved issues there. That way, they'll know in advance why you'r not even acknowledging them. Maybe that'd put the kibosh on them even asking.

[kayla-la.livejournal.com]

"Thank you for your interest! But I'm afraid I must decline, though I am flattered you would want to do business with me."

I'm not a big fan of lying and pretending to be too busy because then they get the impression they can get something later, and might come back, and then you have to keep lying... and it'll look bad if you take other people's commissions.

You don't have to be apologetic or anything. Just firm in exercising your right to not do business, and no need to start drama. If they ask why, I would handle it on a case by case basis, but the whole point would be to not give them room for argument.

[kayla-la.livejournal.com]

I also have a 'I have a right to refuse service to anyone' clause in my TOS.

[whereisourcrown.livejournal.com]

The best way to respond is to be as TRUTHFUL as possible because saying things like you're full or do not have time currently is not a rejection. It gives the troublesome client a reason to harass you further down the line. You'll either have to tell them the REAL reason you don't want their money or keep up a string of lies.

If your reason for turning them down because of their reputation, your best bet would be something like, "Thank you for taking interest in commissioning me. However, for personal reasons I don't feel comfortable accepting you as a client. I wish you luck in finding another artist to fulfill your request and appreciate your understanding in this matter."

[vauvakolibri.livejournal.com]

Maybe something like "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be comfortable working with you". Whether you point out their history or not is up to you though might prevent them of asking why you're not comfortable. Also agreed with oceandezignz and the "don't lie" thing. Don't say you're not doing commissions if you actually are (seeing if the person keeps hanging around your site and sees you uploading commissions, they may feel need to call you out) and if you say your list is full or you say you might open up later, it just gives them reason to keep coming back and contact you again.

[oby.livejournal.com]

One thing to keep in mind that it is the artist's right to decline or accept any offer for any reason, and thus the artist does not need to provide a specific reason for declining the work.

I make Second Life avatars and often have to decline people I find to be too "picky" or "troublesome". Usually I will simply tell them that I simply do not think I would meet their expectations and thus will not accept the work.

[epiceternity.livejournal.com]

Don't forget to put in your TOS that you have the right to decline or cancel a commission if you don't feel comfortable with the subject or the commissioner's behaviour. That should cover you being able to say no.

When refusing, don't make it personal or feel pushed into having to provide reasons to justify it. Just a 'thank you for your interest but I have to decline your commission. I wish you luck in finding another suitable artist.' will do.

Also have to agree with the don't lie about being full/closed. If you're obviously taking other commissions then it looks kinda bad and there might be a problem with the commissioner re-contacting you again thinking your open again. Best to say up front you won't take their commission so they know. ^^

[hellfire99x.livejournal.com]

'Thank you for your interest but I have to decline your commission. I wish you luck in finding another suitable artist.'

I think I like this response the best. It seems to be the best way to say "No thank you" and show them the door, while not giving them any extra room to argue about it.

[ocelotish]

First of all, there may be times when it's appropriate to say "I'd be happy work with you; however, I would be more comfortable if you did ____." A good example of this would be payment issues - a person may be perfectly nice to work with, but have issues with pending balances on commissions. Therefore, if you ask them to pay in advance, you're protecting yourself.

As for outright refusals, I really like oceandezignz's and kayla_la's replies the best.

What I think is crucial is that while you may have a good reason to choose not to work with them, it is ultimately your choice. Lying is not professional. If it's a minor offense that you're waiting to see corrected, or if it's a case where the commissioner might just need to mature a little, then yes, you might want to add "at this time." If they ask why, you can send them the report. They might have a very different side of the story, or they may even choose to resolve it then. The one thing to keep clear is say that everything must be resolved on this community, not with you, because you're not the injured party.

If it is a case where you could "get away" with lying, I will point out saying that you're full up won't work forever.

[night-sky99.livejournal.com]

Everyone has been giving good advice. I do advise you don't mention anything about their previous feedback, since there is a reason you aren't taking their commission, and a lot of commissioners who have been posted on here have been warned against because of their attitudes. I think if you bring up previous bad feedback, they aren't going to like it, and it will end poorly even without you taking the commission. It could blow up in your face and they could react badly.

Ditto-ing what vauvakolibri said: if you say you aren't open -at this time- then they may keep coming back. I think you would be better of saying something along "I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable taking a commission from you." If they ask why, you could saying something about their past, but as I said above, that could blow up in your face. I would really just stick with you aren't comfortable taking the commission and leave it at that.

[taelifoe.livejournal.com]

Good point. While I would keep things I've read on A_B in mind, I'm not sure how wise it would be to bring up a client's history in the community, since that could be seen as me taking sides or perhaps being biased toward or against someone because they were reported here. And while I know there are people out there who are just looking to cause trouble or take whatever they can, it's also true that some people clean up and grow up after a while.

But yes, my point was, I agree that it might be in bad taste to bring up their history on A_B :|

[monogato.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I will have to agree with everyone saying not to lie. There is an answer for pretty much every lie you can provide. "I'm closed" - you will be open later! "I am not comfortable with the subject matter" - well how about this other thing! Plus this doesn't work if they're asking for something basic or something similar to a piece you've done before. Plus, if you're caught lying, then how does that make you look?

I definitely like the very definite and non-confrontational responses that have been posted above. Just say no, don't offer why, and you don't need to respond to anything beyond that. Bringing up a history invites arguments and ugliness. I can just picture someone posting angry public journals about the mean artist who refused their money because they believed the mean rumors that someone spread about them.

[thaily.livejournal.com]

I think a "Sorry, I'm not interested." and a "This is not open for discussion." if they persist is enough.

[pinkpuppybelly.livejournal.com]

This.

[whydah.livejournal.com]

This won't work if you have prices openly posted, but my freelance policy is 'never say no'. I just make it impossible for the client to remain interested.

"Yes, I can do that! However, it will cost you £6000 and it will take me at least two years to complete."

;)

[whydah.livejournal.com]

Addendum: this method works well because if you set a price at which you feel you would be adequately compensated for their nonsense, then you can insist on being paid in full up front, or give specific dates-of-payment, and this way you have a number of fail-safes on backing out if you decide that actually, all the money in the world wouldn't be worth the stress.

Caveat: I usually work for companies, not individuals -- but I don't see why this wouldn't work.

[syrusb.livejournal.com]

I agree with the polite but neutral refusals. And absolutely agree with not lying to the prospective client; it's incredibly unprofessional.

On the off chance they come back asking for the refusal's reason either do not respond, or state you have a right to refuse working with a client. The point is to restrict information so they can't try to overrule your decision. You have a reason. That is enough.

Additionally, having a clause in your TOS about your right to refuse work is a good call. We all have this right regardless, but some people don't realize (or believe) it unless it's in writing.