Advice Needed

[thalkitty.livejournal.com]

I have kind of run into an odd situation and am generally unsure and uncomfortable with the idea it has produced. So here I am to ask everyone what your advice is.

The situation: I lost contact with an artist nearly a year ago, they have not read the note I sent them and I am reluctant to bombard them with more. Nor have they responded to any shouts left on their page.

However, it appears that their Significant Other (at least, the person I understand to be their SO from posts about such matters the artist made) is currently active. Is it considered to be against the 'rules' to politely message them and ask them to have their SO (the artist) contact you? I don't want to harass or bother them, I have no issue with them, I just don't know what happened to the artist. Is there some reason they no longer post? Is it just a really long hiatus? Do they ever intend to come back and finish unfinished work? Etc.

Comments

[kayla-la.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say a very polite note would be too over the line, but I don't really see why you don't just name them here as I bet someone here probably knows who they are and if they're okay. We do allow lost contact posts.

[claytronic.livejournal.com]

Agreeing with Kayla. I would post the name and see if anybody knows where they went. If nobody knows, contact the SO

[thalkitty.livejournal.com]

I'm just nerviness of others doing as I may (messaging the SO) if I list the artists name. They owe others work as well. I don't want him to be flooded because of.. well this.

[everainsley]

If they owe work to several people, I would not be nervous about messaging the SO/former SO if the artist is not active at all. They can at least tell you if the artist has a new account. Even if you do post the artist's name here, it's not out of line to try and find ways to contact someone that owes you work.

[neolucky.livejournal.com]

If this artist has owed you for a year, then I think that's well within reason to post their name. You're not posting their SO's name, so honestly you wouldn't be at any fault.

[zaulankris.livejournal.com]

If you're really, really sure they are still together I can't see the harm in it. I can only see this ending not well if there was some messy breakup between them... maybe that's why they're no longer active?

Personally, I won't mind one bit if one of my clients approached my SO about something (no matter what) because it's his business too.

[thalkitty.livejournal.com]

I'm actually not sure they are still together. All things considered it's a confusing situation. The SO is mildly active but the artist is not at all.

[zaulankris.livejournal.com]

eh... do it anyway but keep it short, sweet and neutral. I highly doubt it could be considered harassment that way.

Something like "Hey, I bought art from X a while ago but we lost contact, do you know how I could find them again?" should cover it.

[zydala.livejournal.com]

As long as you stay respectful and make sure you emphasize that you're concerned and not trying to overwhelm or disturb anyone I don't see what the problem would be. Something like "Hi! I was wondering if you knew what ____ was up to, I haven't heard from them in a long while and I was concerned but I don't want to overwhelm them with shouts and notes and such. Thanks for your time!"

If they say they don't know or that it's not your business or something like that, just thank them again and move on. Maybe at that point it would be good to post something here because while you might be concerned that they would get overwhelmed with posts, someone might know and would be able to answer the question in the comments for anyone who looks for the post to see, and that way they might actually get less notes/shouts/etc :]

[zydala.livejournal.com]

I forgot to add that it might be good to add that you had business with them, just so they know what kind of relationship you had with them (versus old friend etc), just make sure it's not pushy is all. Which it doesn't sound like you'd do anyway haha :]

[thornwolf.livejournal.com]

As someone who has RECEIVED a note from my artist ex's commissioners trying to find him/get in touch with him (both before and after we broke up), it was annoying when folks told me the details of the situation and griped about the commission like it was my business (it wasn't), so I think if you kept it short and sweet as others suggested and just ask what the best way to contact them is since you hadn't heard back and were wondering what's up, that would be acceptable. Just remember, no commission details, no "they are avoiding me", no "it's been X amount of months since I paid them". Just, "Hi I'm sorry to bother you but I commissioned your S/O and have been trying to contact them but haven't heard back, do you perhaps have a better way of contacting them or could pass along the message that I'm trying to reach them?" maybe even imply that it's fairly urgent (if you feel it is).

[thaily.livejournal.com]

If I lost contact with a customer and someone sent a polite note to my SO asking what was up, I wouldn't mind.

[linksage.livejournal.com]

I would say it's fine so long as you keep it to a 'Hey, if you're still in touch with so-and-so, would you mind asking them to check their messages for me? I can't seem to get a hold of them.' Or something equally simple that doesn't go into detail.

I had to do this with a commissioner once, and the person I contacted was very understanding and polite.