Advice needed...

[applesugar54.livejournal.com]

I'm an artist of a pet adoptable website. I've worked with other artists on making different stuff before, but there's this one artist I really liked working with. But whenever she brings in a third person, and if I disagree with the way she wants to handle something, her first point of call seems to be "Fine, I'll just take out the work you did on the art."

This has happened twice now, most recently a few days ago. I'm feeling a bit used for lack of a better word. I feel like as soon as another artist comes along into the project, my work is tossed aside. I honestly feel like my work is some kind of consolation prize rather than work to be respected.

I really love this person in that she's my best friend online, so of course I don't want to hurt her feelings. But I feel like in doing so, I'm crushing my own. I don't really want to work with this person anymore but I feel like if I tell her that, she'll get all offended and the whole thing will snowball.

Any advice is appreciated.

EDIT: Thank you very much for your advice and kind words. I've decided the best course of action was to cut ties with the place entirely. TBH I was getting pretty tired of the festering drama in that place. Thank you again :)

Comments

[rtydmartel.livejournal.com]

Tell her exactly what you just told us. This post was worded politely, and explains everything without making you sound bitter or mean. If she still takes it the wrong way anyway, then... well.

Best friend online--or even in real life!--or not, no one should ever make you feel like your work and time are worthless.

If she doesn't like your work, then why is she agreeing to collaborations with you in the first place?

[taelifoe.livejournal.com]

Well, in my opinion, friends should not make you feel like you're not important. If it's bothering you, I would approach her about it and just say something like, "Hey, got a minute? I just wanted to talk to you about something that's bothering me, and I'm not trying to offend you or anything, I just want to tell you how I feel about this."

From there, the ball's in her court. If she chooses to change the way she's behaving when this stuff happens, then great! That is a good step for your friendship. However, if she chooses not to change anything about it or doesn't seem to care if it's causing distress for you, then I say it's all the better that you approached her on the matter. Really, you should not have to deal with feeling like this all the time. Even if it's a collaboration or a trade, fair is fair, and everyone should be treated with respect.

Sometimes you have to deal with unpleasant stuff like this, and I'm sorry it's giving you some anxiety about what to do. Just know that by trying to fix the problem now, you're saving yourself more potential distress, even if the next little while is unpleasant. You can do it :)

[radiocatastrophe (from livejournal.com)]

Yeah you should express your feelings towards her, if she feels your opinion isn't worth anything then she really doesn't care for your talent or the time you put into art you make with her. Don't work with her if you're feeling this way about being a 3rd wheel on art projects, take on projects with other artists or fly solo, just let her know that you cannot with with her is she's going to treat you and your work the way she has.

[asmtsm.livejournal.com]

In any form of business you really need to toss the whole "she's my online friend" idea away(yes shes your OF but business comes first). Even just for the project and be blunt about how she is acting and treating you. You really shouldn't waste your time/work if she is going to do this.

If she agreed to work with you then by what you worded here her credibility is just not reliable and this should be kept in mind for future reference when working with others that show the same catty nature.

If it offends her for you to tell her the truth.. oh well at that point in all honestly sh isn't being fair, is being selfish and inconsiderate to the artist on her team.

IMHO I would have ditched the project if treated like that...

[marus-puppy.livejournal.com]

In my opinion, honesty is always the best policy - provided you're polite. It's really easy to bluntly say something true and hurt the other person's feelings (I am the QUEEN of this!) but if you can figure out a way to tactfully put your feelings out there, then absolutely do that! rtydmartel is right, this post is a great place to start.

Everyone has posted great advice so far, so I hope this works out for you!

[theblackdragon.livejournal.com]

Friendship is one thing, business is another. She's wasted your time twice now, and that's hurting your bottom line. If you wind up going into another project with her, I'd suggest laying down the law at the outset -- either she's going to actually use your art for something or you're going to pursue a different project, since you're clearly tired of being jerked around like this.

Remember, it's not a crime to say 'no' to someone, even if it's a person you thought was your friend. Don't be afraid to exercise your right to decline!

[dinogrrl.livejournal.com]

This. Doing business, even something like art for an adoptable site, with a friend is tricky water to navigate. It's certainly doable. But definite boundaries need to be in place to prevent this sort of situation.

If you explain all this to her and things DO 'snowball', well...you'll have discovered that attitude now, rather than several projects down the line when you've invested even more time and energy and frustration into things.

[enter-data-here.livejournal.com]

Seconding this. Your work is worth whatever time and resources you put into it, it's definitely not fair to just dump your input cause she wants to please someone else.

As a friend - don't be afraid to let her know your feelings, just do it in a polite way. If she doesn't at least acknowledge how you feel, she's not really your friend.

[ocelotish]

I'll agree with everyone else here, but you should also decide for yourself how far you're willing to go. Bring it up to her but decide: "Am I willing to do this as a favor to her?" "Am I willing just just cut ties with the business?" "At what point is the friendship worth more than me being an artist here?"

I hope it doesn't get to that point, but they are a few things worth considering. Hopefully your friend will be receptive, but she's not, you have to figure out when you're willing to cut your loses.

Also, what exactly is your complaint with this other artist? When I've seen adoptable pet stuff it doesn't seem like it takes a lot of working side-by-side.